Author: Rachel Vincent
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Title: If I Die
Series: Soul Screamer #5
Publisher: Mira Ink / Harlequin
Genre: Paranormal Romance, Young Adult
Published: February 12^th 2012 UK / September 27^th 2011 US 
Source: review copy from publisher
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars

Goodreads summary

The entire school’s talking about the gorgeous new math teacher, Mr. Beck. Everyone except Kaylee Cavanaugh. After all, Kaylee’s no ordinary high-school junior. She’s a banshee—she screams when someone dies.

But the next scream might be for Kaylee.

Yeah—it’s a shock to her, too. So to distract herself, Kaylee’s going to save every girl in school. Because that hot new teacher is really an incubus who feeds on the desire of unsuspecting students. The only girls immune to his lure are Kaylee and Sabine, her boyfriend’s needy ex-girlfriend. Now the unlikely allies have to get rid of Mr. Beck…before he discovers they aren’t quite human, either.

But Kaylee’s borrowed lifeline is nearing its end. And those who care about her will do anything to save her life.

Anything.

I start with the goodies. This is the best Soul Screamer book so far. The plot is so captivating and especially the character development is convincing and moving. I was already a true fan of the Soul Screamer series before I read this book, but with If I Die this series moved into my personal Top10. Just to give you an idea how much I value this book.

I think one of the main reason why I love this book so much is Kaylee. She is such a loveable and endearing character. One the one hand she is an almost typical American teenager. She wants to survive high school without being a complete outsider, she wants to hang out with her best friend Emma, she wants to get to know her father better and she is determined on protecting all the students on her school from the evils of the Netherworld. One the other hand she is still recovering from the events, that took place in book 3 and 4. Obviously I can’t completely avoid spoilers, but I’d like to keep it down as much as possible, so no further explanations here. However, Kaylee is just so sweet, brave and unselfish you have to adore her. Of course she isn’t perfect. She likes to omit things, she isn’t overly forgiving (though I can understand this) and she is big in avoiding personal problems she doesn’t want to deal with. Anyway, these characters traits make it even more effortless to relate to her.

I thought Kaylee had it rough before, so I was’t prepared for the bombshell, which dropped right in the beginning of If I Die. I was shocked and in complete denial. Kaylee is the main character here; nothing world-changingly bad. Please! Nevertheless Kaylee has to face a grim future or rather non-existing future. And if you thought that this would make her suddenly focus more on herself, you were wrong. As usual Kaylee is on a mission to save somebody. And she can’t be stopped. 

The story line is gripping from the first page and I was glued to the book. I couldn’t put it down for even a minute. I had to know what will happen to Kaylee and her friends. Will she manage to protect the other schoolgirls from the evil Incubus-teacher? And what about herself? The plot was amazing. There were unexpected twists and the tension was almost unbearable. Also the dialogues between Kaylee and the not-so-innocent and not-so-sweet nightmare-girl Sabine were fascinating, sometimes painful, occasionally hilarious and never boring. These two together are definitely not a team made in heaven. And in between there were these calm and emotional scenes between Kaylee and her friends and family, which just ripped my heart out and made my rethink what is important in life. I know that’s not something you expect to experience while reading a paranormal, young adult book. However Kaylee’s circumstances and her attitude about it, made me questioning

I shouldn’t forget to mention the gorgeous Hudson brothers, Tod and Nash.  Both are hell-bend on helping Kaylee, no matter how. My favourite is clearly Tod. Since the beginning of the series, he underwent such an enormous character development, I have to adore him. And when you read what he is doing for Kaylee, you will love him too. I promise. And thankfully he hasn’t lot his wit. Nash on the other hand is kind of stuck. He isn’t dealing well with the recent changes and behaves more and more like a spoiled and a bit ignorant child. He definitely means well, has a kind heart and I can understand what he is going through but that doesn’t always make me like him or his actions. 

The end of the book left my in a puddle of tears. It was shocking, it was completely unexpected and it’s perfect. It may not be what I wished but it’s so well written and choreographed I’m just completely out of words. I must have re-read the last few chapters at least 5 to 10 times, they are just so beautiful and heart-wrenching, I can’t get enough of it. And honestly I can’t say more, you have to experience this for yourself. And if you want me to point out some negative or annoying thing about this books you are out of luck. Even if there are a few minor points, they don’t matter at all in the overall reading experience.

Finally I have to point out that this is one of my favourite young adult, paranormal books. Actually it’s just one of my favourite books, no matter which genre. I laughed, I cried, I screamed, I ranted and my heart broke a little bit as well. I can’t wait to see what Rachel Vincent will present us in the next Soul Screamer book, which will come out this summer. Luckily. 

Because I’m part of the UK If I Die blog tour, I was able to ask Rachel Vincent 5 questions about herself and her books.  

My 5 questions for Rachel Vincent:

1. You started writing an adult paranormal series and then you did the YA Soul Screamer series. What is more fun to write? Adult or young adult books?

I actually still write adult too (the Unbound trilogy). Um…on the surface, I’d have to say that Soul Screamers is the most fun to write, but not necessarily because it’s YA. The SS stories are pretty straightforward, and the possibilities in that world are endless, so I always feel like I have no real restrictions. Writing Unbound, on the other hand, is very, very frustrating for me. That world is so full of rules for me and restrictions for the characters that writing it is a very strict balance. That said, I’m SO proud of Shadow Bound. It was a lot of work, but I think it turned out pretty well. ;)

2. Why are you writing paranormal fiction? Will there ever be contemporary non-paranormal books?

Honestly, as much as I like to read contemporary (Courtney Summers and Simone Elkeles are favorites), I’ve never felt the urge to write contemporary. I think I’d feel boxed in by the lack of supernatural possibilities. I need the freedom to step outside the normal world. ;)

3. What ‘s your favourite fairy tale from your childhood?

You know what? I’m not a huge fan of most fairy tales. Girls rarely rescued themselves, or their men. But I do like some retellings. ;)

4. How do you come up with names for your characters? Are these just random names or do you use names from friends/family?

I never intentionally use friend or family names, though it retrospect, it appears that I’ve killed off more than one of my ex-boyfriends in print. ;) Some of the names just come to me. The characters seem born with them. Some are a real struggle, and I wind up going through list after list of possibilities. Sometimes I even ask my online followers to make suggestions.

The reapers, though, have names that are variations on foreign words for death. All except Levi. ;)